Coach Mike Krzylkmadfladski—as those numerous American Express commercials told you—wants his players armed for life. But when it comes to Team USA, he doesn’t want to be armed with his best defender. The coach, with the worst hair in sports next to The Bish, cut Bruce Bowen from whatever tournament Team USA is getting set to embarrass itself in.
Wasn’t Coach $100K brought in to restore some pride in USA basketball? And to do that, wasn’t he supposed to rely on that good old fashion Coach $100K approach.
No, not media whoring and making bad commercials. Solid defense.
Team USA had long assembled its national team the same way kids collect trading cards. They would gather a group of disinterested big-name standouts, roll out the ball and expect to win a gold medal. But the rest of the world caught up and Team USA started losing to countries such as Nauru. Those in power responded by selecting Coach $100K to lead the team, because—let’s face it, the coach’s Duke teams never underachieve in tournaments. There also was a new emphasis put on team players instead of big-name stars. Guys who can actually make a defensive stop. Guys willing to do the little things to help their team win.
Guys like Bowen.
Instead, Coach $100K responded by cutting the former Cal State Fullerton star, thus ensuring that Team USA will again have an early tournament exit. But at least they will get a chance to see Coach $100K’s latest commercial.
Adam Rank is a syndicated free-lance journalist based in Sunset Beach, Calif. His work has appeared in NFL.com, NFL Insider Magazine and various newspapers across the country. He is also the founder of the award-winning website, http://thehaternation.com . The site was recently voted the Orange County’s top site for player hating by the editors at the OCR. (Just kidding, Greg. Please don’t call.)